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Just another day in...

I can't seem to find the link/button that allows me to see my friends' older posts... Where did it go?

BTW, hey everyone. See you on facebook. HA!

Hmmm

Do I expire?

Am I, like, fun and interesting and desirable to be around... For a while? Then suddenly one day everything that comes out of my mouth is just annoying, stupid and deserves either no response or something negative?

This is not the first time that people who, for years seemed to enjoy my company, suddenly seem to despise it, claiming all the while that they love being around me, but having nothing but pursed lips in response to anything that I say.

Is it me??????

It's so good to come home...

It always reminds me of what I don't want, and what I don't want to be.

My family has always been such a great influence on me that way... "Here Mindy... Take a good look... Now work to be SOMETHING ELSE!!"

FUCK!!

In the case of my family I find that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
In other cases I find that absence makes the heart go yonder.
Each influences the other.

I don't even know what to tell this world anymore.
I just need to be alone.


...


I get really fucking sick of being the one who doesn't hold a grudge. Being the one who always lets things go. Sure, say whatever fucked up shit that you want to me because you're drunk, sure, I'll forget about it tomorrow just like you will, because you sure as hell won't remember it!!

grumblegrumblegrumble.

12-15-09

Tomorrow is my last day of classes for the semester. I'm in a haze and have fallen back into a cycle that I left Sc to break. I know what people who quit drinking talk about when they talk about the haze lifting, because I can feel it on me, I'm aware of it. I don't need to have it be lifted in order to be aware of it, but that's mostly because this past week or two having gotten drunk every night for over a week straight, is not what I have been doing lately, and I don't like it. Bad company and a proclivity for drinking = not my success story.

I'm leaving for Oregon in less than a week. I hope that I will not have this wintertime gloom. I was hoping to avoid it by pounding vitamin D all winter, but it seems to have hit... Of course, it doesn't help that the hormones are tipping.

I'm probably just upset because I lost my USB drive that had my final project on it. GO ME!! I fucking rule. Maybe if I hadn't smoked so damn much pot in high school.

I'm gonna go smoke another cigarette.
Things have been pretty amazing lately. The first semester is winding down and I am almost completely finished with all work that I need to accomplish, which means that party time gets to start now. Woo hoo!! I've been hanging out with a ridiculously amazing and sexy boy, although it's pretty much just about the ridiculously amazing sexiness...

I was recently accused of being a "serial monogomist" and though I was initially highly offended, it has made me wonder.... Don't get me wrong, I love being single, I am very happy and content when single, I simply find men wandering into my life and falling for me and wanting to be my boyfriend quite often, and why deny it? I've also had my share of one night stands and sexual indiscretions, and I am CERTAINLY no serial monogomist compared to friends of mine who cannot be single for two weeks before they have someone new MOVING IN WITH THEM!! Still... It does make me wonder at what a pathetic sap I am for just being with someone rather than just fucking someone... Although I don't think that not wanting to just be fucked necessarily makes me serial... (I'm totally serial, you guys). Hmmm... I dunno, it doesn't really bother me, I was just taken aback that anyone actually thought that about me, although I guess I only post about guys I date to the world, and not about... the other interactions that I have.

Work is great and I love the people that I have met there, but I will be moving on soon. I have thrown out a bazillion applications to local libraries (because there are a bazillion around here) and hopefully I will hear back from at least one of them. I am so sick of food service I can hardly take another day of smiling at assholes who treat me like shit... Including one of my managers.

Not much else. I have amazing friends here, and for the first time in my life, the boy I'm dating is counted among the closest of them. This time I did not have a strong and developed circle of friends that a boy could never penetrate and become a part of. I have many friends here and I am extremely close to a lot of them, but there is no single circle, no impenetrable fortress. Plus the boy has been around almost as long as several of the friends.

The girls, however, are the lifeblood. I have such amazing girlfriends and I truly adore them. I never thought of myself as a girlfriends kind of girl. When Heidi introduced me to hers I was initially unimpressed and thought only that I had always had guy friends for a reason, and this was it... I just later found that some of her girlfriends were simply not my type, and never would be... However, I'll admit, I did get a few keepers out of it... There's just something about girls reading People Magazine that puts me off... right off.

Anyhow, not my girls. They're all so intelligent, so strong, so independent. I can hang around them and not be constantly reminded of what a non-girl kind of girl I am. Although, every time Amaya busts out a new hideous purse, I am still reminded. ;-)

OK, that's all for now. I'm acing this semester as I had expected. Nothing is truly as superlative as I had at first imagined, I am still blowing away my professors and classmates, people are still coming to me for help on assignments, people still make comments about not wanting to follow me when we have presentations... *sigh* Oh to be so amazing.

I'm a big girl!

I'm learning real computer stuffs.  Boy, I feel like I'm finally growing up.  I literally grew up with computers, I've had one since I can remember, granted the original computer we had was an old apple green-screen dealy, with lemonade stnad and Where in the World is Carmen San Diego, but still, I've always had one and I am only now getting around to learning a thing or two about them...  Well, them and the internet.

I bought the most GORGEOUS Dr. Marten's boots yesterday.  Retail therapy.  I've been sick for over a week.  I deserve boots.  And I must say, the NY obsession with boots is one fashion train that I am happy to jump on.  There are some gorgeous boots to choose from, and a girl could really develop a collection!

Anyhow, nothing else of import.  Nothing previous of much import either, I just felt obliged to say something as I've been so absent lately.

Neglectful

I haven't updated in ages.  Sorry.  Those on Facebook (Cindee, I'm lookin' at you) get regular updates, probably more than they care for, but my LJ friends just aren't getting it, because a one line snippet is just so much easier than a blog!

Let's see:  Still love the job, though planning to get a library job just as soon as possible.   The internship at the Metropolitan Museum of Art is absolutely amazing.  It feel pretty elite getting to waltz in brazenly brandishing a cup of coffee, while everyone else is showing the contents of their bags.  All because of my lovely little lanyard with a (might I say rather fabulous) picture of myself on it.  Go me!  I met a boy, well I met him several months ago, and we've been working together and slowly developing intense and inescapable crushes on one another over the past few months.  The flirting at work was merciless and wonderful, especially as it became more sweet and obvious.  We're dating now, and I like him, very, very much!  I have a weekly brunch date with some amazing women.  I mean amazing women.  I have managed to meet several fabulous, drama-free, intelligent, hilarious and wonderful ladies in this city and I make sure to get to enjoy their company at least once per week.

I think my favorite thing about this past week has been my registration for next semester.  If I continue with the job that I'm in now for a few more months (which is very likely), then I will definitely have at least two days off each week next semester (that's two more days per week than I have had this semester).  In an ideal and glorious world I will have four days off, but I'm not going to force anything.  I'll be overjoyed with three!

So that's where I am.  I am so happy here.  There was no adjustment phase in moving here, no culture shock.  It has been so wonderful.  I have such amazing friends and a great network in case anything goes wrong.  In the big city, however, thousands of miles away from your loved ones, the prospect of losing everything and living on the street seems so much more real than it ever did before.  I keep my 'Just in case' thoughts in mind, because the homeless here are so prevalent and many of them used to have homes and jobs just like us...  It's fucking insane to see and mental prepare against.

So that's me lately.  I'm so smitten with this boy, I don't even know what to think.  I want to bring him with me when I come to the Cruz in May (Oh, btw, I'm coming to the Cruz in May...  Derrick's getting maaaaarried!) to show him off.  Not sure he'd be able to swing it, but I sure want to!
                  

Super heroes? really

So my lame ass D.O. at my work decided that we needed to have a theme for Halloween this year.  Aside from how unbelievably lame that is, he chose for us super heroes and villains.  Now i know how much many of you adore your comics and your super heroes.  Me, I don't care for them enough to want to dress up as one for halloween.  That being said, any able to think of some obscure or unconventional villain tpe character?

The best I've come up with thus far is elle Driver from Kill Bill, but she would be a rather expensive costume.

Help me out, lovies.

(I also thought of professor chaos, but that would be quite difficult as well)

MONEY!

That's... what I want!

ehehehehe.

No, it's cool, finally got my first check and second is weeks away.

One thing for me to stop bitching about now.

LOVE YOU!

What? Where?

 

I've realized how long it has actually been since I forgot how to say no to myself.  After taking my rent out of my bank account and finding that I have just over $100.00 in there, I realized that it is about time that I REMEMBER how to say no to myself.  I am going out to a scheduled sushi dinner tonight with a friend, and then after that it is budget time.  Considering that I have NO IDEA if I am going to receive any more financial aid, and I cannot ask my parents for money, I had better god damn well learn how to budget again.  This meager income will not pay for my survival.  It's a good thing I know a) how to budget and B) how to live without pretty things.  I do, however, need to buy a space heater and boots SOON.

Next year, when I haven't fucked up my financial aid, hopefully it will be a little bit easier!

Otherwise, I whailed on my only test for the semester just hours ago.  I also received back two reports on both of which I had gotten As.  In fact, I have gotten at least an A- on everything I've gotten back so far this semester.  Looks like I'm not in over my head after all.

GODS I can't wait for sushi.